The Waiting Game

Maybe it was the fact I was on bed rest for 10 weeks. Maybe it was because Stephen and I were overly paranoid to death or it might be the fact that it I made it way farther in this pregnancy then I had ever hoped and dreamed I ever could. What ever it was... my delivery with these girls was 100 times different then with my boys.

My doctor again discharged me from the hospital at 34 weeks because I was still dilated to a four and I hadn't made any progress the last two weeks. He gave me the go ahead to slowly wean myself off of my medication that stops contractions and to slowly start getting up and walking around so I could gain a little strength back before I delivered. He also scheduled a date for a c-section....just incase by some odd chance I made it that far. October 23rd was circled in red on the calendar. 

So once again I went home. I weaned myself off the meds. I started doing more things around the house. Each day went by and nothing happened. We waited and waited. Stephen would even drive me around so I could do some errands, thinking that walking around and being on my feet would do the trick. Still nothing. 

I got so big that the last 2 or 3 weeks I didn't even fit into any of my maternity clothes. 

Then on Monday, October 6th, we weren't able to find anybody to help us get Andrew off the bus. So I attempted to do it myself for the first time.  That must have been it, because later that afternoon I started having contractions once again and they were consistent about 4-8 minutes apart. So Stephen rushed home from work and we quickly found someone to watch Andrew before heading to the hospital another time. After being admitted and going through the same routine I'd been through three other times previously, I was again put on the monitors. They were picking up the same hard contractions that I'd been feeling. Stephen and I were almost positive we'd deliver that evening.  The doctor came by and checked my cervix. After all that, it hadn't progressed one bit.

So I was to spend the night and we'd see how things looked in the morning. Not much happened during the night. In fact, things really settled down and the contractions went away. I figured I'd be sent home too, with the lack of progress. The next day we waited and waited. The doctor finally came by my room just after lunch and after another exam she said I'd dilated to a six and the sack was bulging. We were to deliver that day! We were in shock. 

However since I'd just eaten, I had to wait the 8 hours before receiving anesthesia and we were put on the schedule for a csection at 8 pm that night. I was able to shower and get ready. Stephen went home and worked for a few hours, then got Andrew situated for the night. We were both anxious to meet these girls and we were both so ready to be done being pregnant.

waiting and waiting

It seemed like a forever long day and then finally it was time to be prepped for anaesthesia. Things happened really fast after that. Stephen was able to come in the OR and be by my side which was comforting.  The operating room was full. Each baby had a team of 3-4 nurses and doctors from the NICU. Plus the nurses and doctors working on me. Shortly after they started we soon heard "Its a girl!!" And a loud cry.  Stephen left my side, what seemed like an eternity, to be with the baby. I kept waiting and waiting for another cry. apparently baby "A" who was born first was calm and quiet and baby "B" was the screamer. So both babies had been born and I didn't realize it. After a while both babies needed a little support breathing and they put them both on CPAP. After stabilizing them and before the went upstairs to the NICU, they wheeled them over to me and I got to give each of them a kiss. Stephen went with the girls while THEY finished up with me and took me to recovery. 

A while later, he came back with a whole bunch of pictures and we called and texted our whole family to let them know the good news.

Just a few hours short of being 35 weeks along and after 10 weeks of bed rest (8 of those in the hospital) these girls were finally here!!! Born October 7th, 2014 at 8:59 ( yep both girls were born with in the same minute...no arguing who's older) 

Baby A

Kathryn Mary Holden 

5lbs 9oz 

19" long 

Baby B 

Olivia June Holden

4lbs 7oz 

18" long 

 They both only needed the CPAP assistance for only a few hours, then they were able to go straight to room air.

Heading to the NICU

It was now almost midnight, they then wheeled me up to my room and I crashed for the night. The next morning, they told me I could go see the girls as soon as I could get up and walk around by myself. That was all the motivation I needed. It. Was only a few hours later that I was up walking around. 

 Holding Kathryn for the first time!

Sweet Olivia...It was so wonderful to be able to finally hold these girls

It couldn't have been better timing, my mom was planning on flying out on Oct 8th to help us. We were so excited the girls decided to arrive just in time. 

Within a day both girls were moved from the critical care NICU to the 7th floor where they just needed to work on feedings and gaining weight before they could go home. 

Plus being on the 7th floor they were able to have their beds right next to each other, which meant we could hold and cuddle both girls at the same time. 

Both Stephen and I felt like our NICU experience this time around was not the NICU as we know it. It felt more like a glorified nursery. These girls had ZERO issues. Just basic preemie stuff working on feedings.

Look Olivia only has a NG feeding tube...no others IV's PICC lines or anything....what an awesome feeling that was to see.

Helping with Kathryn's "Cares" (ie. Diaper change and feeding) 

Olivia surprised us and came home from the hospital only two days after I did, at 6 days old. 

Just in time....right before Grandma Lyn had to head home. 

It became very difficult to have one baby at home and the other still in the hospital. Finding time to go back and forth especially since I couldn't drive was difficult and it tore my heart that I couldn't spend much time with Kathryn at the hospital. 

Good thing Grandma Holden was here to help. She was able to watch Olivia and Andrew while I headed in to visit Kathryn for a few hours each day. 

Grandma & Kathryn 

Kathryn took her time coming home. They were mostly trying to gether to take a full feeding and gain back her birth weights he'd lost. After two weeks we were finally able to bring her home. 

It was such a wonderful feeling to finally be altogether as a family. 

We love these girls so much! 

Yep, I'm back!

I still really can't believe it. I've been feeling some pretty major dejavu the last few days. But I am back at the hospital once again. Here's the story...

Last Wednesday I had an appointment with my doctor, well more like his nurses to get my weekly 17p Progesterone shot. It takes a lot of effort these days to shower and get dressed, let a lone get in the car and go to an appointment. They decided that now that I was 32 weeks along, they'd also give me a second round of steroid shots to help with the babies lung development. So TWO shots were on the line up for that day. Later that evening, I started having all sorts of contractions and some were even a bit painful.  I timed them and they were coming pretty consistently between 6-10  min apart. With all my knowledge of how to stop contractions I did everything I'd been taught and laid awake in bed with Stephen seeing if they would just stop on their own. Finally at 11pm, we decided to call the on-call dr and see if we needed to go in. She told us to just keep doing what we were doing and if they got worse to head in. About an hour later (3 hrs total) they stopped and I was able to finally fall asleep around 2am.

The next day, Thursday, I had another appointment this time for an ultrasound and yet again....another shot. So I quickly showered and threw a hat on not wanting to spend any time on my feet getting ready. We went in and my cervix had changed dramatically, measuring only 0.8 in length and completely open at the top. We explained what happened the night before and the doctor had me put on the monitors in the office. (My biggest issue is that I can't always feel my contractions. So the fact that I COULD feel them, had everyone worried a bit)After a while it was clear that I was still contracting and pretty consistently, even though I only felt one or two here and there. Thank goodness their office is at the hospital and they sent me upstairs to check in to L&D. I was again monitored for a few hours and then my OB came by. He checked me and said that I was dialated to a 3-4. I was seriously in shock and then the routine of trying to stop labor started.... or so we thought.

All of the sudden there was somebody there to give me an IV and was talking like I was going straight into the OR for my c-section. Then somebody else came and to get blood samples and I was totally confused. Our doc had said previously they'd try to stop things up until 34 weeks and I was only 32? Then apparently they changed their minds or something because they put me on magnesium sulfate to slow things down and see if it would help. It did. Thankfully. I was then switched to an L&D room overnight for close watching. They were monitoring both babies as well as contractions all night long. The next day I started having more contractions so they upped the dose of magnesium.

This stuff is the worse out there. You basically lose function of your entire body and feel awful. Hot sweets, constant headache, foggy brain, can't keep your eyes open(yet you are fully or somewhat fully conscious of everything going on), nausea, light headedness, you lose the ability to urinate. (sounds awful, but it's true) and the longer/more intense you are on the medication the worse and more severe the symptoms become. They kept me on this awful stuff for 36 hours this time and things finally calmed down. Then after a little while, I stabilized, my contractions were minimal and they decided I didn't need to be right there next to the OR in Labor and Delivery. So a few hours later they sent me up to the High Risk Perinatal floor which is where I was before.

What a relief. It was so nice to be off that awful medicine and was so great to see familiar faces of the nurses and staff. And yet at the same time so weird to be back. Didn't I just leave this place? I promised myself I didn't want to be back at the hospital until I was going to deliver. We'll I'm back...and I'm here to stay until I do deliver.

It's a bit harder to be back here now that I know how "luxurious" bed rest at home is. Trying to wrap my mind around it is weird. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night not knowing whether I was at home or here. It's all such a blur. Going on week 8 of bedrest, I'm very ready to be done. The end is in sight though only a few more weeks. Then we will move from this craziness of life to a whole other crazy with two babies in our house.

Back in Bed

32 weeks

First Day of School

Now that it's been over a month, I'm finally getting around to posting about Andrew's first day...or month of school. 

It was kind of a crazy start with everything going on in our lives. His meet the teacher & school open house was just a few days after I went into the hospital. We didn't quite make it there and school started just a few days later. It's been quite the process to get his records transferred over from Texas. We met with a district person during the summer to sign a new IEP and get things going, but come to find out... the day before school started...there had been some miscommunications between the district, his teacher and transportation. It was crazy, I was trying to sort things out over the phone at the hospital and Stephen with his teacher.... It took a while and we are still trying to a few things out, but what a stress! Stephen has been such a trooper stepping in as mr. mom. 

It's hard not to be as involved as I want to be with his school, but that's just how it will have to be for now. He has a great teacher and she is so wonderful in working with our situation. School was a harder transition for him this year, than last. Part with me being in the hospital and part with how early it is. We have to wake him up at 6:00 just so we can get ready and out the door to catch his bus at 6:45, which he rides for an hour before school starts at 7:40. 

Since daddy forgot on the first day of school, here's the 2nd day of school picture! Way too early in the morning, in his school uniform and still in casts. 

Walking down the hall to find his new teacher and friends. 

Despite all the craziness. Andrew has been looking forward to school and asking for his school bus since the last day of school. It's so fun to hear him talk about what he does each day and the friends he plays with in his class. As far as I can gather...from his 3 year old self...he is sad and cries when his music teacher Miss Missy leaves. Music is his absolute favorite time of the day!

I'm Home

So on Wednesday, Sept 3rd after my weekly ultrasound,  the doctor said that I could go home. "There isn't anything we are doing here that you can't just do at home" He commented.

It was great to see the girls over 3 lbs (Baby A 3lbs 8oz and Baby B 3lbs 1oz) and my cervix looked the best it had been since before the hospital measuring at 3.6-3.8 in length.  I wasn't too surprised by this news of getting to go home. It had been the plan to get me to 30 weeks and if everything looked great they'd send me home on strict bed rest...but apparently he wrote in my notes that I could go home that day. So my insurance wouldn't let me stay any longer. I was kind of tentatively planning on going home Thursday or possibly even Friday when my parents arrived,but nope we were heading home that day. So to have to suddenly go home that day really threw me for a loop. Stephen got off work early and came to pack up my room. I'd been in the hospital one month exactly. (August 3-Sept 3) It was so surreal to leave the hospital and climb into our car. I just kept looking around at everything.

I've been home almost five days now and it is so wonderful to be here. I love the fact that I get to see my boys more than an hour a day. I have missed them more then anything. Seeing Andrew laugh, cry and hearing his funny little sayings, just warms my heart. I feel like I've missed out so much the last month and he's grown up on me while I've been gone. Sleeping next to Stephen, seeing him, laughing with him and feeling his gentle touch has been good for my soul.

Although it's temping to do things around the house, my parents are both here to help for the next few weeks. We've loved having them here the last few days. They have already done so much to help us. We are very grateful for so many family members who've wanted to and who have and will come out here to help us. It is times like these that I wish we lived a little closer to family, so it's not so hard.

I am now at the point where I'm not scared for these babies to come...don't get me wrong I want them to stay put and grow as long as they can. But, I now feel like I can get excited and start to plan and buy things. I haven't dared to do much with everything that happened with Andrew and Ethan. We haven't bought much of anything, for fear of having to take stuff back. Now that I am 30 weeks, I better get started...these girls could come as soon as 1-2 weeks, but hopefully more like 4-5 weeks, around the first part of October. It's becoming very real these girls will be apart of our family.

A Day In The Life Of My New Home Away From Home

Hospital Bed Rest Day: 28
Holden Baby Girls Gestational Age: 29 weeks 4 days

Just because I'm looking for things to keep me busy and this blog has become my personal journal....I thought I'd record a day in the life of my Hospital Bedrest experience. It might be boring for others to read, but someday I'll look back on it and hopefully laugh.

Somewhere between 7:00 and 8am: Knock, knock. A nurse comes in to take my blood pressure, pulse and temperature, scanning my bracelet like a box of cereal. She hands me a cup of pills--prenatal vitamins, stool softeners and gets me a new pitcher of water and reminds me to drink, drink, drink.

After she leaves, I "Ride" my bed to sitting position, get up and go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and remind myself to never take standing up and walking for granted as I get back into bed.

Knock, knock, Nurse's aid enters and ask me how I'm doing today. Has me step on the big black scale for my daily weigh-in. Offers to bring me things. Changes the date and nurses names on my whiteboard. Stocks my room with towels and washcloths. Tells me to let her know when I want to shower so she can change the bed linens while I do. Calls me honey, darling or sweetie.

Knock, knock. Food service staff comes and delivers my breakfast with my little cup of OJ. Turn on the Today Show to find out what's going on in the world outside my little square box.

Knock, knock. Someone comes in to clean and sanitize my room, clean the bathroom, sweep & mop etc. Small chit chat is made about the weather or current news topics.

Turn TV off. Open up book. Read one sentence.

Knock, Knock. Doctor walks in and asks if there's anything new to report, reviews my plan and asks if I have any questions and says something like "Keep doing what you are doing!" Total time in my room: anywhere from 2-3 minutes tops.

Ohh...I have to go to the bathroom once again with all the water I'm drinking this becomes an hourly routine.

Check email and updates on social media make a few comments...another small connection outside of my little box.

Knock knock. Nurse comes in again. and squeezes cold goop on my belly, listens for heart tones on each baby and then hooks me up to the tocco machine. For the next hour I'm attached to my bed and I cannot move while they get a reading of my uterine activity. Nurse leaves. I lay flat and immediately need to use the bathroom.

Knock, Knock. Someone comes to get my breakfast tray and gets my order for the days meals. What do I want? Sigh. Something other than hospital food. Anything, but hospital food. I'd eat cold cereal for breakfast lunch and dinner, but not more hospital food. I end up ordering the lasagna for lunch and pork chops for dinner and to spice things up a bit, I get BLUEBERRY pancakes for breakfast
tomorrow.

Read some more to pass the time while on the monitor.

Knock, Knock. Nurse comes in to take the tocco monitor off. Reviews the hour from the long strip of paper and says everything looks great, just some uterine irritability.  She leaves and I sit up and make my 15 steps to the bathroom. Remember that I need to record my output. Wash hands and write everything down.

Walk to the window to see the world. Sigh.  At least I have a beautiful view of the city...Back to bed. Back to laying completely flat.

Decide to pull out the crocheting and realize I've mastered crocheting and laying flat on my back.

Knock, knock. A cheerful person comes in to bring my lunch tray. Sit up and eat my lunch while I watch a little food network.

Finished up lunch. One of the highlights of my day is my daily shower. I call the tech to wrap up my IV on my arm. She comes in cheerfully with a bag of new clean linens for my bed. I sit up and climb out of bed. Gather my clothes and go into the bathroom. Turn on the water and realize that warm water is like a little gift from heaven. I sit just an extra minute or two to let the water just run and soak in the few minutes out of my bed.

I climb into a nice clean bed and hear another knock on the door. Someone enters whose main purpose is to collect my garbage. I wonder why the person who came into sanitize earlier didn't just take the garbage with her. Seems like that would simplify and save time.

Look at my book, look at my crochet, look though all 60 channels on tv and nothing looks interesting to me. Realize how out of shape I am and that the process of taking a shower has wiped me out. Decide to roll over a take a short nap.

Knock, knock. Nurse comes in to take my blood pressure, pulse and temperature, scans me like a gallon of milk. Tries to listen to the babies heartbeats. I remember the reason I'm laying here. Feel so grateful to still be pregnant. Look at the calendar and tell myself I can do it! Realize that Stephen and Andrew will be by soon.

Knock, Knock. Dinner arrives. I look at the clock and it's 4:45. Let it sit for about 45 minutes knowing that I'll starve later if I eat it right away.

I hear the door open and a big "Hi mommy! Hi mommy!"  comes from behind the privacy curtain. Best part of my day, hands down. Get a kiss from Stephen. Andrew immediately wants to climb up on my bed. He finds the buttons. Up, down, up down, I shoot like a rocket. He laughs and thinks it's hilarious. I soak in his laughter that I miss so much and all of his cuddles. He's see's my jug of water and wants a drink then asks for a snack. I open the drawer next to my bed and have a big tub of crackers. Pull out a few and realize the amount of crumbs I'll be sleeping with tonight and not care a bit as I open them. I ask about his day and he tells me random things like he needs an IV in his head or he doesn't need a MRI or X-rays today. I realize he sure knows a lot about hospitals for a three year old.

The time for them to go comes way too quick.

They leave, blowing kisses at the doorway. I smile. The door closes. I sigh then realize I've made it almost made it through another day. Small goals.

I get up to use the bathroom look out the window and see the sun setting. Think about the next day. The next week. The next month. Start to panic a little. Try to push it aside and stay positive. Say to myself, "At least the girls are okay and I'm where I need to be" "It could be worse. I'd rather be here then be spending the time in the NICU." "Either way I'd be at this hospital everyday."

Knock, Knock. The night shift of nurses are here and I get put on the tocco monitor one more time. Once again I'm attached to my bed for the next hour.

I turn on the TV once again. Again I realize I've never watched so much tv in  my entire life.

The hour is over and the nurse returns to take me off the monitor and listen to the girls heartbeats one more time. Scans my arm once again like a bag of chips and hands me my nightly pills.

I'm starving and I eat my late night snack stashed away in the mini fridge. After, I brush my teeth and wash my face... then climb into to bed, turn out the lights and cuddle up with my 7 pillows. Another day down and I fall asleep.

7:00 am I hear noises outside my door and realize it's shift change once again.

I'm still pregnant and still in the hospital. Life is good.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

It feels a bit like Ground Hogs day.

Everyday same routine.

I'm getting to know the nurses quite well and all the techs. They are great and have been so wonderful to me. 

Grandma comes to play

We always love having visitors and when grandma came a month ago it was no exception. I'm not sure how much of a vacation it was for her, but she was so sweet to come and help us. It's been harder and harder to take care of Andrew. I'm wasn't able to lift much of anything, so grocery shopping, getting Andrew in and out of the car, his booster seat, doing laundry and chasing him down to get dressed and change his diaper is becoming nearly impossible. Grandma's timing couldn't have been better as we are trying to take every precaution with this pregnancy.

Andrew of course loved every minute of attention from grandma and soaked it all in. He asked every morning where grandma was and if he could wake her up. But I think his most favorite thing to do with Grandma was to...of course walk. He'd love to walk with her hand either to the laundry room and shut the door so it would be completely dark, or he'd walk her to his bedroom and "put her to bed" have her lay down and sleep on his bed. He'd even sing a song or two and maybe read a book, then close the door. It kind of became a joke that it was "hard work" to play with Andrew because he'd just put you to bed. As much as they played that little game I never got a picture, but did get some cute ones of Grandma and Andrew!

 Storytime with Grandma

 Playing with cars

 Playing with leftover fireworks on the front porch

Walking around the park 

Grandma also helped us do lots of organizing and unpacking. Which was a huge help, as that too has been a slow process with me being pregnant and not able to do much. With all of that said...we did squeeze in a little playing time. 

Stephen took Andrew and his mom hiking on the weekend. They found a fun new spot with a gorgeous view and lots of steps! 

Before she left, Stephen decided to take a day off and we headed downtown to check out the Georgia Aquarium. Which was incredible!! One of the best aquariums I've been to by far. Apparently when it opened it was the largest in the aquarium in the world. It has 11 dolphins that put on a pretty fun dolphin show  with all their jumps, twists, dives and splashes.  I also loved seeing the huge aquatic life like the beluga whales, whale sharks and manta rays. What a fun day!

Petting the Sting Rays

 This picture doesn't do it justice at how huge the Manta ray is.

Andrew had fun taking pictures of the animals too. This one of the jelly

fish actually turned out pretty cool. 

 The only way I could have gone was if I was in a wheel chair. Andrew loved going for a ride in "mommy's stroller" 

Andrew's Surgery

With a little extra time on my hands these days, we are catching up on some overdue blog posts! 

Last month Andrew had Surgery on his legs. This was a surgery that had been recommended to us and there are only two doctors in the country who perform this specific surgery on kids with CP. One doctor is in New Jersey and the other is in Galveston, Texas. We were hoping that we could get in and do it before we moved, so we could just make the 6 hour drive to Galveston.... But no such luck! 

This surgery was an optional surgery, one that we didn't need to do. It was tough to try and decide whether or not this was the best thing for Andrew. After tons of research, consulting with different doctors and therapists, and much prayer we decided to go for it. Here's a little bit about what Stephen and I had been contemplating as parents. [taken from an email written to our family]

We are grateful that Andrew was approved and is a candidate for this procedure. Stephen will be flying with him to a doctor we were referred to down in Galveston, TX on Wednesday. The surgery he'll be having on Friday is a SPML (Selective Percutaneous Myofascial Lengthening) Surgery. Most kids with CP have to go through numerous tendon lengthenings surgeries throughout their life. Their muscles (because of the spasticity and tightness) cannot keep up with the growth of their bones and if not taken care of can cause bone growth deformities. The reason we are flying back to Texas for this procedure is because this specific doctor, Dr. Yngve uses a unique approach (less time under anesthesia, 2-3mm incisions, less scarring and has a longer lasting impact) He will be having it done in four different places on each leg from his hips to his ankles. Then it will be a 4-6 weeks of recovery.  We are praying and hoping this will help him in the long run with his bone growth as well as helping him be more independent with walking and other activities. 

We had only consulted with Dr. Yngve over the phone and he explained that Andrew would have the procedure done in four different places. His inner thighs, hamstrings, calves and ankles.  But after his actual consult in person before the surgery the doctor didn't feel that Andrew needed the whole procedure in all the areas. So they ended up just doing the calves and the ankles. In some ways this is good....in that he's not as severe as the doctor originally thought,  But half of our issues is that Andrew is really still really struggling sitting on his bottom because he is so tight in his hamstrings. We have mixed emotions that the doctor didn't just do everything. But maybe next time around. 

Stephen was a trooper to take this on himself and let me rest at home. He flew with Andrew by himself and did everything. To buy some time the day before the surgery, they found the NASA space center just outside of Houston and walked around some of the exhibits. Andrew of course LOVED this.

The first few days post-surgery Andrew was in a lot of pain and wanted to walk. He couldn't walk because of the pain, so he'd just stand and cry. Since it was a same-day surgery, they pretty much hung out in the hotel room ordered pizza and watched movies on the iPad for a few days. Stephen tried to venture to the Houston Zoo one day as a distraction, but that pretty much backfired. Andrew just wasn't himself. They came home a few days later and he did just fine. 

He can walk if he holds your hand and hasn't been bothered by the casts at all. The are pretty similar to his regular braces. So he's adapted pretty well.


Here's a little before surgery walking taken at the NASA space center

Life in bed in the hotel room. 

Those are some BRIGHT green casts!

He tried really hard to ride his new trike, but it was pretty tricky with casts. 

Four weeks later his casts are now off. He was fitted for new braces and we are crossing our fingers that we can see a difference in his ability to walk and keep his balance.

Bed Rest

I knew with this pregnancy, with my history and being pregnant with twins again... There would be some point where I would need to go on bed rest. Well, that point came a little earlier than I had hoped. But we are so very grateful that this time around we at least got some warning and thanks to modern medicine things were able to be stopped. 

The last few weeks as the days ticked by, both Stephen and I have been nervous, anxious and emotionally stressed knowing that we were getting closer and closer to the time that I delivered Andrew and Ethan. 26 weeks 4 days. It has been etched in my heart for many different reasons.  

A few weeks ago I had started feeling some Braxton Hicks contraction, which I never felt last time around. I had an appointment with my OB a few days after feeling them and he reassured me that they were completely normal. Well a few days later we were at church. I kept feeling them more constantly. Stephen and I left church a little early so I could go home and lay down. But before I could get to that point. I'd had a few more and we decided to just go get everything checked out. 

I'm so glad we did because apparently there was more happening then I could feel and I was constantly contracting. They immediately gave me steroid shots for the girls to help their lungs develop faster and put me on magnesium to calm the uterus and slow things down. 

This pregnancy I've seen a perinatalologist who specializes in high risk preganancies every two weeks since I was 12 weeks along. They do ultrasounds at every appointment and take all sorts of measurements. One of those being my cervix length. Anything above a 2.5 is in the normal range. Mine have usually averaged aroung 3.3-3.6. They checked it again when I was admitted to the hospital and it had dropped to a 2.1 and it was funneling(starting to open near the babies head). They then of course ran all sorts of test and said I was dialated to a 1-2cm. 

After three days of IV fluids and 24 hrs of magnesium sulfate (which makes you feel tired, dizzy, nauseous and just completely out of it.) They started me on indosium. Another muscle relaxer to help calm the uterus down. I went in for another ultrasound 3 days later.  Things had improved my cervix was a 2.6 and although the funneling was deeper, it was closing up. This was such a relief to hear.  I continued on the indosium and followed up again a few days later. My cervix measured 3.0 this time and the cervix was mostly closed. Who knew your cervix can change back? I sure didn't. At this point there was a big debate on whether I should stay at the hospital or I should go home and be on bed rest there. 

Thankfully my OB is totally on board with me staying. As hard as it is on my family to be gone. This is right where both Stephen and I would prefer me to be. I need to make it at least through the month of August. Then I will be 30 weeks and the risk of a long-term disability goes down significantly. These girls will most likely come early, but when is the big question. We'll see how things go and are taking it a day at a time. 

It been about a week and a half and for now this is life at the Holden home. We know that this is just temporary. Stephen has been amazing at just taking everything on. The household chores, taking care for Andrew plus all the stress with work. Our ward has been amazing and has step up and help this new family that most people don't even know. From taking Andrew at the drop of a hat to bringing meals by and visiting me at the hospital...they have been wonderful! Only in the church would you feel completely comfortable letting complete strangers take your child and bring you food and not worry one bit. I feel so grateful knowing my family is being taken care of.